You Don’t Have to Put Up with Put-Downs 151
PowerPhrase Responses to Put-Downs
Are Specific
Tell attackers exactly how their words affected you and how you
want to be treated instead. Don’t say,
Stop that!say,
That remark hurts because I care about your opinion
and it sounds like you are trying to discourage me. If
you have an issue, let’s discuss it directly.I worked very hard to make this party a success. If I
have not met your expectations, tell me what’s wrong,
but don’t take potshots.Ask yourself—exactly what in their words was hurtful? Why
was it hurtful? How do you want to be treated? Be specific.
PowerPhrase Responses to Unkind
Criticism Are Targeted
Your goal is to stop attackers in their tracks. Your goal is to put
an end to the digs.
When someone gives you an unkind put-down, he is being
passive-aggressive. Your response needs to be assertive. That puts
an end to it, regardless of the motivation.
If they attack you out of meanness, when you are assertive
they will stop. It’s no fun for them if you don’t let it get to you.
If they are used to getting away with hit and run tactics,