160 PowerPhrases in Action
I value your account and take your concerns to heart.It can be difficult, because if someone is venting anger, the chal-
lenge is to remember that this situation simply involves a good
person who is upset.
Some people vent in order to intimidate you into giving
them what they want. In this case, you still want to stay calm.
But if listening doesn’t calm them, you will need to be firm.
You can say,
I understand you’re upset and your anger will not get
me to change my policy.If I could give you what you are asking for I would do
it without your anger. I’m not able and your anger will
not change that.Whatever approach you take, do not give them a fight. It is dif-
ficult to win a fight with an angry person.
You must stay calm yourself. Stay calm—but not computer-
like. Calm compassion and concern soothes the raging beast in
all of us.
PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry
Person Say What You Mean
Saying what you mean doesn’t imply that you have to say
EVERYTHING you mean. If you think they are an idiot, don’t
tell them. If you think they are a narcissistic fool, don’t tell
them. You may mean it, but that’s not enough! Find something
you mean that will lead you toward your goal.