Don’t Resist Anger, Defuse It 161
Are you frightened when people get angry? Sometimes that
will add power by bringing up the humanness of the angry per-
son. Try saying,
I am frightened by your anger.if you believe they will respond to vulnerability. If you believe
they won’t respect that, leave it out. If you are not frightened
by anger, you might want to let them know that. Say,
I’m not frightened by your anger.Do you have trouble hearing the issues when someone is
angry? An excellent PowerPhrase is
I want to focus on the issues but I find the intensity of
your words distracting.Remember, when someone is angry, your reactive self will
find meaning that will have no relevance once you’ve calmed.
When you say what you mean, say what you mean in the big-
ger sense, looking beyond the current emotional situation. It
takes a lot of discipline when someone is angry to ask yourself
what is underneath your reaction to his behavior. The road to
resolution will be contained in the deeper meaning.
PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry
Person Mean What You Say
Do not let angry people bully you into promising something
you can’t deliver. You may be tempted to say whatever they
want to hear. You set yourself up if you do.