Use Anger as a Tool, Not as a Weapon 167
They express their anger in Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases.
They’ll say, “I’m sorry I’m angry,” “I know you probably
didn’t mean it,” “I might not be justified in saying this”—they
will use qualifiers and disclaimers until no message is left.
Aggressive people use too many words because they want to
drive the point in. They want to make sure the listener feels
their anger.
Be sure all the relevant details are included, but don’t go on
and on. PowerPhrases are as long as they need to be and no
longer.
PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are
Specific
Get specific about the source of your anger and then get even
more specific about the true nature of your anger. Avoid saying,
I’m angry because you don’t listen.when it’s more specific to say,
I feel discounted because you ignored my warning.Avoid saying,I’m angry that I can’t get through.if it’s more specific to say,
I’m frustrated because I have been on the phone for
over forty minutes and shuffled from department to