168 PowerPhrases in Action
department thirteen times and still don’t have the per-
son who can help me.Avoid saying,I’m mad that you’re late.when you mean,
I feel unvalued when you come twenty minutes late
without calling.Be specific about what they are doing that you want them
to stop or what they are not doing that you want them to start.
Be clear about what you think, feel, and want. They need to
know how their behavior impacts you.
PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are
Targeted
Like Sandy at the airport, you need to consider the conse-
quences of your actions. Being justified isn’t enough! Don’t fight
a battle you cannot win, and when the other person holds
power, don’t antagonize her. It’s pretty simple. Ask yourself,
What result do I want and what words are likely to get
that response?Sandy wanted security to let her through and she wanted to
catch her flight. Cursing was not the way to accomplish her
goal, but that was the approach she chose. She had another
goal—she also felt indignant about how they were searching her