Use Anger as a Tool, Not as a Weapon 173
strength of your resolve, choose words to communicate conse-
quences. Say,
If this doesn’t change, I will...I need as much specific information as you can give me,
because I plan to discuss this with my attorney to see
what my options are.In order to be able to continue here I need...The key ingredient is resolve. Your words are powerless if
you do not mean what you say. Even if you do mean what you
say, if you have a habit of saying things you don’t mean, it is
likely they won’t believe you when you do.
PowerPhrases to Express Anger Are
Not Mean When You Say Them
When people hurt, offend, or inconvenience you, it’s natural to
want to hurt, offend, or inconvenience them back. Tit for tat
seems to be programmed into the human psyche. Tit for tat is
also one of the stupidest things you can do.
It is possible to communicate anger without striking out in
any way. It is also possible to communicate anger without judg-
ment or blame. You do it by avoiding making the person you
are angry at the target of your words. Instead of speaking about
him, talk about his behavior or about how his behavior affects
you.
Avoid saying,