How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable 179
ing on a perspective that you can both live with—either agree-
ing or “agreeing to disagree,” (3) agreeing on a course of action.
Avoid being sidetracked into the mistaken goal of proving
you are right and they are wrong. Don’t allow your discussions
to lose focus and become contests. When the discussion starts
to feel like an argument, look for areas where the other person
can be right. If you insist you are right, that makes her wrong.
She immediately goes into proving how right she is.
First and foremost, avoid the Vicious Venom Poison
Phrase,
You’re wrong.Even avoid,
I disagree.They hear that the same as if you said they are wrong. Instead,
say,
I see it differently.That’s one perspective. I have a different one.You’re right. My thoughts are...That may be. What makes sense to me is...You may be right. Let’s look at the facts and see.