How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable 181
Can you find things to agree with in a disagreement? You
can if you try hard enough. It’s worth it, because it works.
PowerPhrases to Handle Disagreements
Say What You Mean
Leave out referring to universal principles when the real issue is
subjective. For example, if someone’s perfume is a problem for
you, avoid saying,
People should consider others before they put on perfume.say,
I’m sensitive to your perfume.They can argue with the first statement; they can’t argue with
the second. They might not agree with your rule, but they can’t
argue with your preference.
If someone is gossiping don’t say,
People shouldn’t gossip.say,
I’m uncomfortable talking about Judy when she’s not
here.