196 PowerPhrases in Action
A male coworker used to be silent when I spoke. I thought
he hadn’t heard me, so I would repeat myself. He heard me—
he didn’t have anything to say. He learned to say something like
That’s right.Interesting.just so I knew he had heard me. Men are more inclined to
understand a silent response than women are. Add a few more
words for communicating with women, and don’t personalize
the brevity of men. In all situations, a PowerPhrase is as long as
it needs to be and no longer.
PowerPhrases between the Genders
Are Specific
This PowerPhrases Principle is particularly important to women
communicating with men, since men tend to be more literal.
Women: It is important for women to be specific about the rea-
son for a conversation with men. If a woman wants a man to
listen and not try to fix a problem, she needs to tell him so. Say,
I’m upset about something and want to talk. All I need
from you is your ear.If a woman wants help solving a problem, she needs to say,I need your help to solve a problem.