What He Says Is Not What She Hears 197
Don’t expect men to guess what you want. Tell them specif-
ically. For example, I once sent a copy of a book I published to
a male colleague. I told him,
When you get your copy of the book, I want you to tell
me the cover is beautiful.He replied,
Thanks for telling me exactly what you want from me.To be specific avoid saying,We never go anywhere.when you mean,
Please take me to Alexander’s Restaurant tonight.Men, if you ever wonder what a woman wants from you, ask!
Say,
How can I best support you? Do you want me to just
listen, or help you solve this?If a woman is generalizing, avoid picking at the literal
meaning of what she is saying. If she says, “We never go out,”
do not respond by saying,
That’s not true! We went out last week.