14 Why PowerPhrases?
because they want to soften the message and water it down to
avoid offending. Aggressive communicators often use too many
words to intensify the message. They want to drive the message
in and drive the point home. PowerPhrase communicators are
simply communicating. They do not need to control the
response of the listener. PowerPhrases focus on clarity. Power-
Phrases are fluff-free communication.
PowerPhrases Are Specific
When Eric told me that I seemed condescending, he was spe-
cific in his choice of words. He did not just say that he didn’t
like the way I was talking to him. It was because his words were
so specific that they had the ring of truth and hit me hard. Spe-
cific wording is like a sharp knife that cuts through defensive-
ness. Vague words are like cutting meat with a plastic knife.
PowerPhrases Are Targeted
Eric’s words were targeted and that’s why they were effective.
They worked. Oh, I didn’t confess to my attitude, but I got off
my high horse, and have been more human with people ever
since.
Target your words for the results you want. Why are you
speaking? Are your goals clear in your mind? I bet you often
choose words that are guaranteed to get results quite the oppo-
site from the results you say you want.
Let’s say someone is screaming at you and telling you off.
My guess is that if I could put the situation on hold, pull you
aside and ask what your goal in responding is, you would say,