Answers to Readers’ Questions 217
I understand this is upsetting to you. Your volume
affects our ability to do our job.If she is as negative as you say, she will probably take a
potshot at you. Let her. Your goal is to get her to stop speaking
so loud, so let her have her reaction as you take consistent action
towards your goal. Stay calm in vocal tone, firm in resolve, and
speak up after every incident. Say what you mean and mean
what you say.
Question #3: Her Right to Smell Good
vs. My Right to Breathe
Dear Meryl: I appreciate your PowerPhrase e-mails. They help
me so much! I’m hoping you can help with a problem I have.
One particular female coworker (who sits real close to my desk)
likes to load up with perfume. It is very strong, and sometimes
I have a hard time breathing when it drifts to my desk. She has
an office with a door, and I do not, so sometimes I turn my desk
fan away from me so that I don’t have to inhale the strong per-
fume. I really like her and do not wish to offend her. Can you
help me?
Meryl Responds: I bet this woman has no idea that her perfume
is a problem and she won’t know unless you tell her. I would
simply say,
I’m sensitive to perfume and it affects my breathing.
Would you mind using a little less?