Criticism
avoiding, 97
PowerPhrases responses to un-
kind, 148–155
Cursing, 168
Defensiveness, 97–98, 103–104,
127
avoiding, 58
Details
avoiding, 100–101
being precise in, 48–54
eliminating irrelevant, 45–46
Directions, giving, 46
Disagreements, PowerPhrases in
handling, 175–184
brevity in, 176–177
goals in, 178–181
specificity in, 177–178
subjectivity in, 181–182
tone in, 183–184
“Don’t,” 29
Effectiveness, 60
Emotions, describing specific,
101–102
Empty phrases in expressing
anger, 171–173
Examples, backing up assertions
with, 93
Expectations, PowerPhrases and,
209–210
Explanations, focusing questions
on, 143
Feel-felt-found formula, in handling
disagreements, 183–184
Feelings
communication of, 99–106
use of, as weapons, 106
Filler Respect-Robbing Poison
Phrases, 18–19
Fine, Deb, 82
The Fine Art of Small Talk(Fine),
82
Flattery, 88
Follow through, 63
in addressing issues, 191
Gender, listening and, 193–203
Gender communication
brevity in, 195–196
clarity in, 201
goals in, 198–199
specificity in, 196–198
tone in, 202–203
General words in describing emo-
tions, 101–102
Genuineness, 88–89
Goals
in addressing issues, 190
in apologizing, 134–135
creating, for listeners, 74
in defusing anger, 159–160
in expressing anger, 168–169
focusing on, 55–60
in gender communication,
198–199
in handling disagreements,
178–181
in listening, 124–131
in perfecting connections, 85–87
of PowerPhrase questions, 141–
145
in PowerPhrases, 14–15
of response to put-downs, 151–
152
rooting out misdirected, 56
in saying no, 119–120
Groveling, 132–137
Guilt, 171
Habits, changing, 34
Heebner, Lesa, 55Index 243