56 The Six Secrets of PowerPhrases
What do you want to be different when the conference
is over? If you could wave a magic wand when the con-
ference ends, what results do you want to see?What a great question! He had us all focus on results. You need
to do the same with your conversations.
I’m telling you to CONSCIOUSLY choose results! If your
conscious mind does not chose a goal for a conversation, your
unconscious mind will. Usually unconscious goals are inappro-
priate goals that undermine you in the long run.
Here are some common inappropriate goals:
- To crush and destroy someone and come out tri-
umphant (that’s a little dramatic, but I bet you get
my point). This goal backfires because people will
get you back if you try to get them. - To unload and dump to relieve emotional pressure.
People resist and resent being dumped on. - To change who someone is. That doesn’t work
because people change when they’re ready. - To be right and to prove that others are wrong. This
never works because everyone else wants to be right,
too. The conversation becomes about who’s right
and has nothing to do with the issues. Being right
isn’t enough. Being effective is more important!
Root out your misdirected goals and replace them with con-
scious, workable goals. What results will work for you? Actu-
ally, there are four good goals: