Secret #3: Pick Winning Words That Work 59
We started talking about all the things we could do together
and our hearts opened. I had thought my son had an attitude.
I did not realize that I had contributed to that attitude in a big
way. When I dropped my role in David’s attitude, the attitude
disappeared. What a wonderful day that was. The tension dis-
solved into mutual appreciation.
Did attaining the goal of dissolving tension include getting
my computer fixed? Well, yes, I’m happy to say that it did—on
David’s terms. He asked me to e-mail my computer questions
to him because that is what works for him. My PowerPhrases
got results.
Speaker/author Linda Larsen tells about how her son Miles
stays focused on results in her audio Power Tips. Miles and a
friend were arguing about whether a particular basketball player
was right-handed or left-handed. Miles was sure he was right-
handed, but the friend insisted he was left-handed. After going
back and forth about it a few times, Miles said,
You may be right. He may be left-handed.Linda asked, “How were you able to say that when you are so
certain he is right-handed?”
Miles replied, “Before I take an action I ask myself,
Will the action I am about to take further the relation-
ship or hurt it?If the answer is that it will hurt it, I don’t do it.”
Wow. Miles keeps his priorities straight! Being right, prov-
ing the other person wrong—there were plenty of goals that
could have overridden the goal of furthering the relationship—