64 The Six Secrets of PowerPhrases
Vince threatened to quit. I knew that would never happen. He
wasn’t saying what he really meant. When he said,
I should never have agreed to this partnership. I hate work-
ing with you. I quit.what he meant was
I am frustrated by your resistance to my new ideas. I
want you to hear me out and consider how my ideas
could work before you start telling me why they won’t.I know that’s what he meant because that’s the truth they got
to after days of fighting and hurt feelings.
Self-knowledge is essential. You have to ask yourself—What
do I REALLY mean? Clear communication requires clarity
within yourself before you can be clear with others. Ask your-
self for the simple truth and I mean the BIGGER simple truth.
You must ask yourself three essential questions.
- What do I think?
- What do I feel?
- What do I want?
Here’s the hard part. You MUST tell yourself the truth. In
my experience working with clients, the most difficult part of
identifying what you mean is to know what you feel. People will
say, “I feel...” and follow it with a thought.
I feel you don’t love me.