It Seems Like I’ve Known You Forever! 87
you’ll get a “yes” or “no.” That gives you nothing to work with.
If you ask too many closed questions, you’ll sound like a detec-
tive. I want you to be a detective to find their hidden treasures,
but I don’t want you to sound like a detective. I want you to get
results.
PowerPhrases to Perfect the
Connection Say What You Mean
What is the invisible barrier we put between ourselves and peo-
ple we don’t know? It’s as if we think we need to put on a mask
and pretend. Don’t pretend you are someone you’re not. But do
pretend you know them already.
What would you say to this person if you already knew
them? No. I’m not suggesting that you open a conversation with
a stranger by saying,
I just had my warts removed and they’re growing back again.
Has that ever happened to you?or
My mom is in a drug rehab program. Do you have any expe-
rience with them?What I am saying is that you probably have artificial barriers
with people you don’t know. You edit things that would be per-
fectly appropriate to say because “you don’t know them.” So go
ahead and say,
This song reminds me of when I lived in France.