41
'I'm so ashamed, I can’t even look at you guys,' I said, eyes down.
I sat at the dining table in Shailesh’s house. I had brought muffins,
bagels, cream cheese, fresh orange juice, takeaway coffee and fruit
from Dean and Deluca, a neighbourhood deli.
Shailesh did not respond,
‘When did you come back? And when did you get so much
food?’Jyoti said.
‘I came back at 6. I tried to sleep but the guilt wouldn’t let me. So I
went out and got breakfast.’
Jyoti said, ‘You need not have bothered. We were so worried about
you last night.'
‘No, we weren’t,’ Shailesh cut Jyoti off.
I said to her,‘Sorry, Jyoti. I behaved like an ass in front of your
friend. I embarrassed you guys. Luckily, I wili be gone soon.’
Shailesh didn’t say anything. He just stared at me without a word.
‘Shailesh, I'm sorry. I had too much wine. I didn’t know Greek wine
was so potent,'
‘That’s not the point, Madhav. We all get high and have fun. You
disrespected us. Priya felt horrible. You ruined a special evening,'
‘I’m sorry. You are right.’
‘Did you see yourself? Staggering on the road screaming “five
more bars”. What has happened to you?’
‘It’s sinking in finally. I might never meet Riya again. It is the
realization that my effort was a waste. It got to me yesterday.’
‘You are still visiting places. Five bars, five bars, you kept saying.
What the fuck, Madhav?’
'I never went. I couldn’t. I passed out.’
‘How did you get home?’Jyoti said.
‘I woke up shivering near a bus stop. Took a cab and came home.’
Jyoti and Shailesh looked at each other.
‘You might be right, Shailesh. I may need a psychiatrist,’ I said.