What Christine said isn’t the point. It’s that she said anything at all that makes
this moment powerful. Sharing her idea for a social media campaign changed
something way more important than the marketing strategy of a company. It
changed Christine. It not only changed how she behaved, but it also changed how
she viewed herself. It even changed her mindset. This is how you build confidence
—one five-second move at a time.
She used the Rule to reach deep inside of herself to find a little courage. And
by speaking up, when normally she’d hold back, she proved to herself on a random
afternoon in a conference room in Plano, Texas, that she was in fact good enough
and smart enough to contribute ideas at work.
It was a small but monumental step. And it took courage. The Rule is HOW she
took a risk and was able to apply the advice that we all know works. It was HOW
she leaned in as Sheryl Sandberg urges, outsmarted the lizard brain as Seth Godin
implores, acted like an “Original” as Grant champions, and dared greatly as Brené
Brown empowers us to do.
I said early on that the Rule is a tool that creates immediate behavior change.
And that’s exactly how Christine used it. That’s how you’ll use it too. By being
deliberate, Christine was able to beat the feelings that normally stopped her and
become more assertive in her career. The more that she uses the Rule to express her
ideas, the more confident that she will become.
Confidence is a skill that you build through action. Social psychologist Timothy
Wilson writes about a psychological intervention, “do good, be good” that dates to
Aristotle. Its premise is based on changing people’s behavior first, which in turn
changes their self-perception of the kind of person that they are based on the kinds
of things that they do.
This is precisely why the #5SecondRule is your ally. It is a tool for action and
for behavior change aligned with your goals and commitments. It is not a tool for