Today, I am never nervous or afraid when I board a plane. Occasionally, if we
hit rough turbulence, I’ll break out the Rule so that I don’t drive my fingernails into
the arm of the person sitting next to me.
However, I still use this technique when I face other fears. Before a negotiation
or a difficult conversation, for example, I’ll create an anchor thought of the
conversation or the negotiation going really well. Specifically, I might picture
someone hugging me or thanking me for “having the conversation” or toasting the
deal with my business partner at our favorite bar.
That thought keeps me grounded, present, and powerful. When you enter a
conversation managing a fear, you can’t be your best because part of your mind is
busy trying to manage that fear in real time. When you have an anchor thought, it
allows you to disappear the fear the moment that you notice your mind drift to it.
Remember, even though your fears and your habits can hijack you in five
seconds, you can take back control just as quickly and “continue to do so” forever.