The second the topic came up, she said she “wanted to audition” but never
wrote her mentor back about it. I asked her why she was waiting. It was fascinating
and heartbreaking to hear how her thoughts and feelings had trapped her. Funny
enough, she wasn’t afraid of the audition itself. At least not when she thought
about it. It was everything that might happen after the audition.
She said that she didn’t want to try out because, “What if I didn’t make it,
Mom? What if I am not as good as I think I am? If I don’t audition, at least I can
tell myself that I’m amazing—I’m just too lazy to have what I want.”
Now we were getting somewhere. The fear of sucking, of not being good
enough, of feeling like a loser—none of us wants to face that reality. So we avoid it
like the plague. I actually do it with exercise. I can pretend I’m in decent shape as
long as I avoid it. The moment I hit the gym I have to face reality. And the reality is
that within two minutes of running on a treadmill, I have to go the bathroom and
I’m out of breath. I’m not in great shape at all. I have a lot of work to do. That’s
why we dodge challenges—to protect our egos, even if it means eliminating the
possibility of getting what we want.
I listened to Kendall talk about her fear that she wasn’t good enough, and then
asked her one simple question:
“What If You’re Wrong?”
It’s a powerful question, and we don’t ask it nearly enough. What if you’re
wrong? What if you audition and you really are as good as everyone says? What if
your idea actually is the next million-dollar business? What if you not only meet
your quota again this year, but you also actually surpass it? What if being single isn’t
as scary as you think and your true soulmate is just days away from bumping into
you? Are you really going to let your worries stop you from doing the work, having
the love life, and being your greatest self? You damn well better not.