The Rule is a game-changer because it 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 forces you to get out of your
head and start and it’ll 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 help you keep going.
And that brings us back to Tom at the bar in the Hyatt Regency in Chicago.
Will he start walking toward the girl across the room or decide to wait? Well...that
depends. It depends on who is making the decision for Tom. Will it be Tom’s heart
that makes the decision or his head? Will it be Tom’s dreams that win or will it be
his fears? Rosa Parks offers some amazing advice for moments like this one—Tom
needs to do what “must be done.” Tom knows in his heart what must be done. He
needs to start living again.
Waiting won’t help. Waiting will only make it worse. When you sit with fear and
uncertainty your mind makes it expand; it’s called “the spotlight effect” and it’s one
of the many tricks your brain plays in an attempt to keep you “safe.”
The fear Tom feels is real. The uncertainty is scary. The self-doubt can be
crippling. No one wants to be rejected or feel like a fool. No one wants to find out
that they “suck.”
That’s why the moment right before you walk into a networking meeting, a
party, an interview, a cafeteria, or start walking toward someone you find attractive,
it can feel daunting. We think about what could go wrong or how awkward it will
feel if no one welcomes us, instead of all the possibilities.
But safety isn’t what Tom wants. Tom wants to rebuild his life and find love
again and that’s going to take courage. As scary as it is taking that first step to the
other side of the bar, Tom is about to discover that all the magic, wonder, and joy
in life happens the moment he does.
You can feel uncertain and be ready. You can be afraid and do it anyway. You
can fear rejection and still go for it.