Christine has a decision to make and she’ll make it in the next five
seconds
She knows she should jump into the conversation, but first she stops to think.
Is this going to sound crazy? No one else suggested anything even close to this kind of thing. She
shifts in her chair. Is there a reason no one else has mentioned Snapchat? Now she’s
questioning whether she should share the idea at all.
In the next five seconds, Christine will either decide to say nothing, a pattern
that’s become a habit at work, or she will find the courage to speak up. Plus,
Christine has a goal. She wants to advance in her career and is worried that she’s
going to get “passed over” for more senior roles if she doesn’t improve her
executive presence. She’s been spending a lot of time figuring out what she needs to
do and she wrote to me because she was struggling with her ability to make herself
do it. Her confidence is taking a nosedive.
She had devoured fantastic books like Lean In, Tribes, Daring Greatly, and The
Confidence Code. She has attended women’s conferences, listened intently to her
mentor, and practiced power posing in her mirror at home. Thanks to all this
research and reading, Christine knows what she needs to do (share strategic ideas, be
proactive, lean in, be more visible, and volunteer for projects that stretch her), and
she knows why she needs to do these things.
You’re probably wondering why on earth Christine didn’t just speak up when
she had the chance. Great question.
The answer is simple: she’s losing the battle with her feelings. Christine isn’t
struggling with speaking. She’s struggling with self-doubt. Of course Christine
knows how to speak in a meeting. What she doesn’t know how to do is beat the
feelings that are stopping her.