138 How to Sell Yourself
I’ve painted a grim scenario, but my advice is equally true for
the college student looking for a post-graduation, first full-time
job.
It’s true for the woman who’s been out of the job market rais-
ing a family, who’s decided that her sanity and her financial situa-
tion require her to get back into the money-earning world.
It’s true for the man or woman who wants to change compa-
nies or jobs.
What is really important is the way you communicate, the way
you’re perceived by the person conducting the interview. Remem-
ber: Likability wins.
Wrong impressions
The psychology involved in the typical job interview is false
and destructive. It discourages honest communication. The inter-
viewee tends to look on the interviewer as someone in a position
of ultimate power, and this feeling grows in direct proportion to
the real need for employment.
He controls my future.
My fate is in his hands.
He holds the key to restoring me to the ranks of respectability.
He is the supreme judge of my worth and value.
He has a secure job in a position of influence and power.
It’s not fair.
Not only is all of this not true, but, also, the interviewee sus-
pects that his own unemployed status or job search will be per-
ceived by the interviewer as a flaw or weakness. After all, being
unemployed or looking for another job (we think) is shameful,
blameful, and a vulnerable condition.
It’s a classic guilt trip.
These dynamics can be horrifying. “How on earth can I ever
explain how smart and skilled and knowledgeable I am in a few
minutes to a perfect stranger?”
To make it worse, quite often the interviewer’s manner, style,
and approach all reinforce these dynamics. The stress for the in-
terviewee is intensified, approaching the unbearable.