174 How to Sell Yourself
you take unfair advantage of the other side in order to win, ulti-
mately, you lose.
We all want to win
That’s become the nature of competition, and from an early
age we’ve learned all kinds of tricks and tactics, some good, some
bad, to get what we want.
Among the bad ones are:- Constant argument, until the other side gives in.
- Aggravation.
- Tantrums.
- Cheating.
- Lying.
Some of the good ones are:- Logic.
- Analysis.
- Reason.
- Common sense.
And remember that the only successful negotiation is the one
in which there are two winners. When there are two winners, each
comes out with self-esteem intact. No one needs to feel subservi-
ent, beaten, put upon, a loser.
Beware of stress
It’s almost inevitable that in imperfect negotiations we de-
velop a lot of stress. Stress is a natural reaction to any out-of-the-
ordinary situation, but you mustn’t let it dominate you. If you let
it take over, it develops into anger, hostility, personal animosity,
or even irrational behavior. It controls the negotiation, blocks out
logic, reason, and common sense. The possibility of compromise
goes down the tube.
When the situation seems to be getting out of hand, when it
becomes impossible to like your adversary, when there seems to
be absolutely no merit to the other side’s point of view, when your
adversary seems subhuman to you, when you’re tempted to shout