178 How to Sell Yourself
getting an “edge” for their client. I felt all along that the same
result could have been reached several hours earlier if the negoti-
ating concept involved what was right for each side. But then again,
attorneys are paid by the hour.
Two things to remember:- Fair beats unfair.
- Justice beats injustice.
My attorney admitted to me on the plane ride home that we
had achieved exactly what he thought we’d achieve, and he was
really proud of having achieved it. That was fine for me, but I
wondered how many other deals have been blown away by unnec-
essary theatrics. I now consider those tactics barbaric.
The notion of courtesy, fairness, and justice should never take
second place to a victory that annihilates the “opposition.”
Negotiation as communication
In the ideal negotiation, both sides take turns expressing their
ideas and exchanging information. In other words, this is a speak-
ing situation.
Because it is also confrontational, it requires the utmost in
speaking skills.
To relax and overcome stress, breathe properly.
To get your points across with honesty and conviction, speak
with an open face and appropriate gestures.
Be prepared.
Be confident.
Be courteous.
Be yourself.
Search for ways to be allies rather than enemies.
The statesman seeks solutions.
The general seeks supremacy.
Be a statesman rather than a general.