Selling Your Likability 45
Practice with a friend
In the last chapter, I suggested an eye-contact exercise with a
friend. Now try it as a face exercise. Close your face. Frown hard.
Now introduce yourself. Next, neutralize your face. Wipe off all
the expression. Introduce yourself again. Open your face. Let your
eyes open all the way and arch the brows upward. Introduce your-
self. Now, have your friend do the same exercise as you watch.
The difference is remarkable.
The key to likability is the open face. And remember: Likabil-
ity wins.
Using your body
The second likability
tool is your body. It’s
another key part of that
critical first opinion of
you. It involves the way
you stand and the way
you sit, your posture,
and the way you use
your hands and arms. I
call the gesture “the
com-municator’s
equivalent of a hug or a
handshake.”
If you’ll agree that
communication is an intellectual act of love, you’ll realize that the
open face says, “I care,” and the gesture says, “I share.” But as
the face is, the hands are naked. We’re not at all comfortable with
them, so we hide them. We put them away. Standing, we immedi-
ately go into one of four “no-no” hand positions, each effectively
killing any chance to use gesture as a communication tool.
The 4 “no-no” hand positions
- One hand clutches the other wrist and together they come
to rest in front of the crotch. In photography, this is called
the “fig leaf” position.
The gesture is like a handshake or a hug.