96 How to Sell Yourself
- They can like you.
- They can dislike you.
- They can be neutral to you (not leaning one way or the
other). - They can feel sorry for you.
Your goal should be to communicate to the audience, not to
the confronter; the best way to accomplish that is to be liked.
Second, almost always there are three points of view repre-
sented in an audience when the subject is controversial, volatile,
and emotional.
Some of the people already share your point of view. Forget
them.
Some have already made up their minds on the other side of
the issue. Forget them.
Remember: The object of your communication should always
be the people whose minds are not yet made up.
They haven’t decided.
That’s how elections are won.
It’s how court cases are decided.
I don’t have to tell you that one undecided juror can control
the outcome of the trial.
In the Bush-Gore election, a few thousand wavering voters
could have changed the outcome.
Take the abortion issue, for example. No one fervently debat-
ing the issue, whether brilliant or terrible, is going to change an-
other person’s point of view on one of the most divisive subject of
our time. The winner of that debate will be the person who most
appeals to the undecided in the audience. The good debater can’t
possibly win over the people of the other side. The awful debater
can’t possibly lose the people who share his or her ideology. So
your goal is always to be liked by the uncommitted.
That’s the objective, and it establishes a brand-new set of
ground rules in a confrontational situation. These new rules are:
- Pause. Think before you speak.
- Stay calm and reasonable.
- Don’t get angry. Keep control of your temper.
- Refuse to take the attack personally.