At times, when I was interviewing people for my research, I felt like an alien—like a visitor trying to
figure out the customs and habits of people living lives that looked incredibly different from mine.
There were many awkward moments when I struggled to understand what they, the Wholehearted,
were doing and why. Sometimes the concepts were so foreign to me that I didn’t have the language to
name them. This was one of those times.
I remember telling one of my colleagues, “These Wholehearted people fool around a lot.” She
laughed and asked, “Fool around? How?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know. They have fun and ... I don’t know what you call it. They hang out and
do fun things.”
She looked confused. “Like what kind of fun things? Hobbies? Crafts? Sports?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Kinda like that but not so organized. I’m going to have to dig around some
more.”
Now I look back on that conversation and think, How did I not know what I was seeing? Was I so
personally removed from this concept that I couldn’t recognize it?
It’s play! A critically important component of Wholehearted living is play!
I came to this realization by watching my children and recognizing the same playful behaviors in
them that were described by the men and women I interviewed. These folks play.
Researching the concept of play got off to a rocky start. I learned this very quickly: Do not Google
“Adult play.” I was closing pornography pop-ups so fast it was like playing Whac-A-Mole.
Once I recovered from that search disaster, I was lucky enough to find the work of Dr. Stuart
Brown. Dr. Brown is a psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and founder of the National Institute for Play.
He is also the author of a wonderful book titled, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the
Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul.^1
Drawing on his own research, as well as the latest advances in biology, psychology, and neurology,
Brown explains that play shapes our brain, helps us foster empathy, helps us navigate complex social
groups, and is at the core of creativity and innovation.
If you’re wondering why play and rest are paired together in this guidepost, it’s because after
reading the research on play, I now understand that play is as essential to our health and functioning
as rest.
So, if you’re like me, you want to know, “What exactly is play?” Brown proposes seven properties