The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

In the chapter on creativity, I wrote that a significant part of my work involves making connections. In
fact, the heart of my work is finding and naming the subtle and often unspoken connections between
how we think, feel, and act. Sometimes the connections are easy to spot and fall right into place. Other
times they are elusive, and trying to put things together feels messy and tangled. This guidepost
started out as one of those messy and tangled experiences, but with time, I learned about some striking
connections.

Early in this research, it was clear to me that living a Wholehearted life included engaging in what
many people I interviewed called meaningful work. Others spoke of having a calling. And some
simply described feeling a tremendous sense of accomplishment and purpose from their work. It all
seemed pretty straightforward, except for this pesky list of words that emerged as being important
and somehow connected to the quest for meaningful work:

gifts   and talents

spirituality

making  a   living

commitment

supposed    to’s

self-doubt

I say pesky because it took me a long time to figure out how they all worked together. The
exhausted part of me wanted to forget about these “extra” words, much like what Steve does when he
puts together furniture from IKEA and there are twelve unused screws when he’s done. I wanted to
stand back, give it a little shake, and say, “Good enough! These must be extras.”

But I couldn’t. So I took apart the idea of meaningful work, interviewed more participants, found
the connections, and rebuilt the guidepost. This is what emerged:

We  all have    gifts   and talents.    When    we  cultivate   those   gifts   and share   them    with    the world,  we

create  a   sense   of  meaning and purpose in  our lives.

Squandering our gifts   brings  distress    to  our lives.  As  it  turns   out,    it’s    not merely  benign  or  “too

bad”     if  we  don’t   use     the     gifts   that    we’ve   been    given;  we  pay     for     it  with    our     emotional   and

physical    well-being. When    we  don’t   use our talents to  cultivate   meaningful  work,   we  struggle.

We   feel    disconnected    and     weighed     down    by  feelings    of  emptiness,  frustration,    resentment,

shame,  disappointment, fear,   and even    grief.