I think most of us have developed fairly sensitive bullshit meters when it comes to reading “self-help”
books. I think this is a good thing. There are too many books that make promises they can’t keep or
make change sound so much easier than it is. The truth is that meaningful change is a process. It can
be uncomfortable and is often risky, especially when we’re talking about embracing our
imperfections, cultivating authenticity, and looking the world in the eye and saying, “I am enough.”
However afraid we are of change, the question that we must ultimately answer is this: What’s the
greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It’s about
cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter
what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am
imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave
and worthy of love and belonging.
It makes sense to me that the gifts of imperfection are courage, compassion, and connection,
because when I think back to my life before this work, I remember often feeling fearful, judgmental,
and alone—the opposite of the gifts. I wondered, What if I can’t keep all of these balls in the air? Why
isn’t everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or
give up? When can I stop proving myself to everyone?
For me, the risk of losing myself felt far more dangerous than the risk of letting people see the real
me. It’s been close to four years since that day in 2006, when my own research turned my life upside
down. It’s been the best four years of my life, and I wouldn’t change a thing. The Breakdown Spiritual
Awakening was tough, but I’m hardheaded. I guess the universe needed a way to get my attention.
Despite where this book will be shelved in your local bookstore, I’m not at all sure that this work is
about self-help. I think of it as an invitation to join a Wholehearted revolution. A small, quiet,
grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, “My story matters because I matter.” A
movement where we can take to the streets with our messy, imperfect, wild, stretch-marked,
wonderful, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives. A movement fueled by the freedom that
comes when we stop pretending that everything is okay when it isn’t. A call that rises up from our
bellies when we find the courage to celebrate those intensely joyful moments even though we’ve
convinced ourselves that savoring happiness is inviting disaster.
Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is
an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance.
You’re going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people—including yourself. One minute you’ll