■ Are there places where phrasing or construction is awkward?
Try to rearrange the sentence or section so that it flows
better.
■ Did you use descriptive, colorful words? Did you tell your
reader, “The planes were damaged,” or paint a more colorful
and creative picture: “The planes were broken-down hulks of
rusted metal— bullet-ridden, neglected warbirds that could
barely limp down the runway”?
■ Consult a thesaurus for synonyms that work better than
the words you originally chose. But don’t get carried away
and use words so obscure that the average reader wouldn’t
know their meaning. When in doubt, opt for the familiar
word rather than the obscure, the shorter vs. the longer,
the tangible vs. the hypothetical, the direct word vs. the
roundabout phrase.
■ Have you overused cliches or slang expressions? Especially
in academic writing, neither are particularly appreciated.
Your paper may be “dead as a doornail” if you don’t “get the
lead out,” get rid of some of the “oldies but goodies,” and
make sure your paper is “neat as a pin.”
■ Have you overused particular words? Constantly using the
same words makes your writing boring. Check a thesaurus
for other possibilities.
■ How do the words sound? When you read your paper aloud,
does it flow like a rhythmic piece of music? Or plod along
like a funeral dirge?164 How to Study