human intermediary between God and man. He was even sceptical about the existence
of such a person, who was said to be free from human limitations and to whom an
aspirant was expected to surrender himself completely and offer worship as to God.
Ramakrishna's visions of gods and goddesses he openly ridiculed, and called them
hallucinations.
For five years Narendra closely watched the Master, never allowing himself to be
influenced by blind faith, always testing the words and actions of Sri Ramakrishna in
the crucible of reason. It cost him many sorrows and much anguish before he accepted
Sri Ramakrishna as the guru and the ideal of the spiritual life. But when the acceptance
came, it was wholehearted, final, and irrevocable. The Master, too, was overjoyed to
find a disciple who doubted, and he knew that Naren was the one to carry his message
to the world.
The inner process that gradually transformed the chrysalis of Narendra into a beautiful
butterfly will for ever remain, like all deep spiritual mysteries, unknown to the outer
world. People, however, noticed the growth of an intimate relationship between the
loving, patient, and forgiving teacher and his imperious and stubborn disciple. The
Master never once asked Naren to abandon reason. He met the challenge of Naren's
intellect with his superior understanding, acquired through firsthand knowledge of the
essence of things. When Naren's reasoning failed to solve the ultimate mystery, the
teacher gave him the necessary insight. Thus, with infinite patience, love, and
vigilance, he tamed the rebellious spirit, demanding complete obedience to moral and
spiritual disciplines, without which the religious life can not be built on a firm
foundation.
The very presence of Narendranath would fill the Master's mind with indescribable joy
and create ecstatic moods. He had already known, by many indications, of the
disciple's future greatness, the manifestation of which awaited only the fullness of
time, What others regarded in Naren as stubbornness or haughtiness appeared to Sri
Ramakrishna as the expression of his manliness and self-reliance, born of his self-
control and innate purity. He could not bear the slightest criticism of Naren and often
said: 'Let no one judge him hastily. People will never understand him fully.'
Ramakrishna loved Narendranath because he saw him as the embodiment of Narayana,
the Divine Spirit, undefiled by the foul breath of the world. But he was criticized for
his attachment. Once a trouble-maker of twisted mind named Hazra, who lived with
the Master at Dakshineswar, said to him, 'If you long for Naren and the other
youngsters all the time, when will you think of God?' The Master was distressed by
this thought. But it was at once revealed to him that though God dwelt in all beings, He
was especially manifest in a pure soul like Naren. Relieved of his worries, he then said:
'Oh, what a fool Hazra is! How he unsettled my mind! But why blame the poor fellow?
How could he know?'
Sri Ramakrishna was outspoken in Narendra's praise. This often embarrassed the
young disciple, who would criticize the Master for what he termed a sort of infatuation.
One day Ramakrishna spoke highly of Keshab Sen and the saintly Vijay Goswami, the