how soon we revert to our old patterns of behavior. We need
repeated exposure.
We have a lot to unlearn. Many people go to a counselor with
a personal or relational problem that tookyearsto develop and
say, “I need you to fix me. I’ve got an hour.” They naïvely expect
a quick solution to a long-standing, deep-rooted difficulty. Since
most of our problems—and all of our bad habits—didn’t develop
overnight, it’s unrealistic to expect them to go away immediately.
There is no pill, prayer, or principle that will instantly undo the
damage of many years. It requires the hard work of removal and
replacement. The Bible calls it “taking off the old self ”and
“putting on the new self.”^6 While you were given a brand new
nature at the moment of conversion, you still have old habits,
patterns, and practices that need to be removed and replaced.
We are afraid to humbly face the truth about ourselves.I
have already pointed out that the truth will set us free but it often
makes us miserable first. The fear of what we might discover if we
honestly faced our character defects keeps us living in the prison
of denial. Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on
our faults, failures, and hang-ups
can we begin to work on them.
This is why you cannot grow
without a humble, teachable
attitude.
Growth is often painful and
scary.There is no growth without
change; there is no change without
fear or loss; and there is no loss without pain. Every change
involves a loss of some kind: You must let go of old ways in order
to experience the new. We fear these losses, even if our old ways
were self-defeating, because, like a worn out pair of shoes, they
were at least comfortable and familiar.
People often build their identity around their defects. We say,
“It’s just like me to be.. .” and “It’s just the way I am.” The
The Purpose-Driven Life 220There is no growth without
change, no change without fearor loss, and no loss without pain.