Zkping in Holland 9 21 3
misses the mark. Is what appears at Lourdes or Madjougorgie "real" or
mass suggestion? Does she really have to assume the garb of a
Nazarene? I see Isis, naked, smiling tenderly, pointing to her mons
veneris and its radiantly creative orifice, entrance and exit to the eter-
nal void.
All around me men are in various stages of intoxication, and I try to
imagine them as brothers, to see through their eyes. It is difficult. I feel
alienated and alone. Somehow I wish to retain my individuality, not
merge in the common view, not become an automaton in an other-
directed hypnotic daze. I conclude that if I am to become clairvoyant,
see the spirit world, it will have to be through assiduously following
Steiner's careful indications, retaining as much as possible of my lucid-
ity, waiting for the spirit world to manifest whenever it will.This short-
cut does not appeal to me. But then I realize that I am armored against
change and may be fighting precisely what is best for me.
Suddenly I get another view of my nitrous oxide nightmare. The
idea that the entire universe communicates with the interior of our
bodies and minds has been part of esoteric religious tradition for thou-
sands of years.As I remember that my only recourse against the horror
of the nitrous oxide was to give in to it and let it do its worst, I con-
clude that my fear of losing consciousness is vain. All I can ever do is
move from one level of consciousness to another, that indeed there
is no exit, whether through drug or accident or death. All is here and
now forever.As Steiner says of consciousness: that's all there is.The uni-
verse is consciousness, and each of us is part of it, holographically,
perhaps. So, as Polari puts it, "Once we experience the irrefutable sen-
sation of the universe within us, the only possible path is to surrender
pleasurably to the knowledge that we are the universe-both the
whole and the part."
Not an easy concept for a child of nine, nor perhaps for a sage of
ninety, leaving but a single choice: to do unto others as one would have
others do unto one: love and admire. As the apostle Paul phrased it after
his bout with the light on the road to Damascus, "All of the law is ful-
filled in one word: thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."