1162 Les Miserables
ity, and had not been able to lay their hands on him. Marius
blamed himself, and was almost angry with himself for his
lack of success in his researches. It was the only debt left
him by the colonel, and Marius made it a matter of honor to
pay it. ‘What,’ he thought, ‘when my father lay dying on the
field of battle, did Thenardier contrive to find him amid the
smoke and the grape-shot, and bear him off on his shoul-
ders, and yet he owed him nothing, and I, who owe so much
to Thenardier, cannot join him in this shadow where he is
lying in the pangs of death, and in my turn bring him back
from death to life! Oh! I will find him!’ To find Thenardier,
in fact, Marius would have given one of his arms, to rescue
him from his misery, he would have sacrificed all his blood.
To see Thenardier, to render Thenardier some service, to say
to him: ‘You do not know me; well, I do know you! Here
I am. Dispose of me!’ This was Marius’ sweetest and most
magnificent dream.