As the poet Theodore Roethke phrases it, “We learn by
going/Where we have to go.” We have found that when we
fill the form, we do not often need to make large changes.
Large changes occur in tiny increments. It is useful to think
in terms of a space flight: by altering the launch trajectory
very slightly, a great difference can be made over time.

EARLY PATTERNINGS, AN

EXERCISE

Although we seldom connect the dots, many of our present-
day losses are connected to our earlier conditioning.
Children may be told they can’t do anything or, equally
damaging, be told they should be able to do absolutely
anything with ease. Either of these messages blocks the
recipient. The following questions are aimed at helping you
retrieve and decipher your own conditioning. Some of them
may seem not to apply. Write about whatever they trigger
for you.

1. As a kid, my dad thought my art was __. That
   made me feel ___.


2. I remember one time when he _____.


3. I felt very __ and __ about that.
   I never forgot it.


4. As a kid, my mother taught me that my daydreaming