Gulliver’s Travels

(Brent) #1

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bers.’ I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished
me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice
of begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten
back, being almost overcome with a horrible stink. My con-
ductor pressed me forward, conjuring me in a whisper ‘to
give no offence, which would be highly resented;’ and there-
fore I durst not so much as stop my nose. The projector of
this cell was the most ancient student of the academy; his
face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes
daubed over with filth. When I was presented to him, he
gave me a close embrace, a compliment I could well have
excused. His employment, from his first coming into the
academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to
its original food, by separating the several parts, remov-
ing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making the
odour exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly
allowance, from the society, of a vessel filled with human
ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who
likewise showed me a treatise he had written concerning
the malleability of fire, which he intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived
a new method for building houses, by beginning at the roof,
and working downward to the foundation; which he justi-
fied to me, by the like practice of those two prudent insects,
the bee and the spider.
There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices
in his own condition: their employment was to mix colours

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