Present Over Perfect

anxiety, now there is a new patience, a new settledness, a
new desire to be just exactly where I am right now. I’m
reveling in this new patience, this new groundedness, this
new sense of peace. It’s so foreign, and it’s so lovely.
The deep well of contentedness that I feel these days is
nothing short of a miracle, and it’s one I am thankful for
every single day.
For a while, I placed my marriage, my family, and my
soul on the altar of productivity, of hustle, of competency
and efficiency. I can’t adequately express the regret I feel
for having done that, or the gratitude I feel for pulling them
back down off the altar before it was too late.
I don’t know what would have happened if I’d
continued down that road another year. Or two. Or ten.
A couple of days ago we had lunch with two rabbis,
married to one another. I’d met the husband, but this was
my first time meeting his wife. They were smart and funny
and passionate, and we thoroughly enjoyed our time with
them.
At a certain point, we talked about work and life and
time and parenting. I told them a little bit about the changes
I’d been making—slower, less task-oriented, less driven.
The husband, perceptively, turned to Aaron, and asked
about what this meant for him, for the shared responsibilities
of our life. We all laughed, but it was a serious and valid
question.
Aaron said, “Yeah, things are messier. She’s not running
around cleaning and fussing all the time. I have to do more,