Present Over Perfect

Christmas presents and cleaned out a closet and started
packing for an upcoming trip.
I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that
I was real-tired. It feels ludicrous to be a grown woman, a
mother, still learning how to rest. But here I am, baby-
stepping to learn something kids know intuitively.
Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for resting
your body and your soul. And part of being an adult is
learning to meet your own needs, because when it comes
down to it, with a few exceptions, no one else is going to do
it for you.
Frankly, the men I know don’t generally struggle with
this. They’ve been raised to eat when they’re hungry, sleep
when they’re tired, run when they’re antsy, leave when
they’re ready to leave. But even the most driven, articulate,
strong women I know struggle to really meet their own
needs.
A friend and I recently talked about how deeply invested
we both are in people thinking that we’re low maintenance
—we both want to be seen as flexible, tough, roll-with-
anything kinds of women. And this ends up keeping us
from asking for what we need, for fear of being labeled
difficult or diva-ish. But what good is it doing me to have
people think I’m laid-back and flexible . . . when really that
cherished reputation keeps me tangled up, needs unmet,
voice silenced?
I knew that I needed to work less. That’s absolutely true.
That’s the first step. But it’s trickier than that: the internal