1000 The Brothers Karamazovging pardon. I worship her, Alexey, worship her. Only she
doesn’t see it. No, she still thinks I don’t love her enough.
And she tortures me, tortures me with her love. The past
was nothing! In the past it was only those infernal curves of
hers that tortured me, but now I’ve taken all her soul into
my soul and through her I’ve become a man myself. Will
they marry us? If they don’t, I shall die of jealousy. I imag-
ine something every day.... What did she say to you about
me?’
Alyosha repeated all Grushenka had said to him that
day. Mitya listened, made him repeat things, and seemed
pleased.
‘Then she is not angry at my being jealous?’ he exclaimed.
‘She is a regular woman! ‘I’ve a fierce heart myself!’ Ah, I
love such fierce hearts, though I can’t bear anyone’s being
jealous of me. I can’t endure it. We shall fight. But I shall
love her, I shall love her infinitely. Will they marry us? Do
they let convicts marry? That’s the question. And without
her I can’t exist..’
Mitya walked frowning across the room. It was almost
dark. He suddenly seemed terribly worried.
‘So there’s a secret, she says, a secret? We have got up a
plot against her, and Katya is mixed up in it, she thinks. No,
my good Grushenka, that’s not it. You are very wide of the
mark, in your foolish feminine way. Alyosha, darling, well,
here goes! I’ll tell you our secret!’
He looked round, went close up quickly to Alyosha, who
was standing before him, and whispered to him with an air
of mystery, though in reality no one could hear them: the