Free eBooks at Planet eBook.com 11 She was reckless now of all consequences to herself,
though, no doubt, she had foreseen them even a month ago,
for even then, perhaps, shaking with anger, she had pon-
dered whether to show it at the trial or not. Now she had
taken the fatal plunge. I remember that the letter was read
aloud by the clerk, directly afterwards, I believe. It made an
overwhelming impression. They asked Mitya whether he
admitted having written the letter.
‘It’s mine, mine!’ cried Mitya. ‘I shouldn’t have written it
if I hadn’t been drunk!... We’ve hated each other for many
things, Katya, but I swear, I swear I loved you even while I
hated you, and you didn’t love me!’
He sank back on his seat, wringing his hands in despair.
The prosecutor and counsel for the defence began cross-ex-
amining her, chiefly to ascertain what had induced her to
conceal such a document and to give her evidence in quite
a different tone and spirit just before.
‘Yes, yes. I was telling lies just now. I was lying against my
honour and my conscience, but I wanted to save him, for he
has hated and despised me so!’ Katya cried madly. ‘Oh, he
has despised me horribly, he has always despised me, and
do you know, he has despised me from the very moment
that I bowed down to him for that money. I saw that.... I felt
it at once at the time, but for a long time I wouldn’t believe
it. How often I have read it in his eyes, ‘You came of yourself,
though.’ Oh, he didn’t understand, he had no idea why I ran
to him, he can suspect nothing but baseness, he judged me
by himself, he thought everyone was like himself!’ Katya
hissed furiously, in a perfect frenzy. ‘And he only wanted to