0 The Brothers Karamazov
fied, on that spot, and what he meant by it — that was, for the
time, a secret which was known to no one in the world, and
had not been told even to Alyosha. But that secret meant for
him more than disgrace; it meant ruin, suicide. So he had
determined, if he did not get hold of the three thousand that
would pay his debt to Katerina Ivanovna, and so remove
from his breast, from that spot on his breast, the shame he
carried upon it, that weighed on his conscience. All this
will be fully explained to the reader later on, but now that
his last hope had vanished, this man, so strong in appear-
ance, burst out crying like a little child a few steps from the
Hohlakovs’ house. He walked on, and not knowing what he
was doing, wiped away his tears with his fist. In this way he
reached the square, and suddenly became aware that he had
stumbled against something. He heard a piercing wail from
an old woman whom he had almost knocked down.
‘Good Lord, you’ve nearly killed me! Why don’t you look
where you’re going, scapegrace?’
‘Why, it’s you!’ cried Mitya, recognising the old woman
in the dark. It was the old servant who waited on Samsonov,
whom Mitya had particularly noticed the day before.
‘And who are you, my good sir?’ said the old woman in
quite a different voice. ‘I don’t know you in the dark.’
‘You live at Kuzma Kuzmitch’s. You’re the servant
there?’
‘Just so, sir, I was only running out to Prohoritch’s... But
I don’t know you now.’
‘Tell me, my good woman, is Agrafena Alexandrovna
there now?’ said Mitya, beside himself with suspense. ‘I saw