meaningless physical indulgence); a positive and self-valuing response to one's own body; a strong, positive
response to the body of the opposite sex; a confident understanding, acceptance, and enjoyment of one's own sexual
role.
This last point requires elaboration. The difference in the male and female sexual roles proceeds from differences in
man's and woman's respective anatomy and physiology. Physically, man is the bigger and stronger of the two sexes;
his system produces and uses more energy; and he tends (for physiological reasons) to be physically more active.
Sexually, his is the more active and dominant role; he has the greater measure of control over his own pleasure and
that of his partner; it is he who penetrates and the woman who is penetrated (with everything this entails, physically
and psychologically). While a healthy aggressiveness and self-assertiveness is proper and desirable for both sexes,
man experiences the essence of his masculinity in the act of romantic dominance; woman experiences the essence
of her femininity in the act of romantic surrender.
Both roles require strength and self-confidence. A self-doubting man experiences fear of romantic self-
assertiveness; a self-doubting woman experiences fear of romantic surrender. An unconfident woman fears the
challenge of masculine strength; an unconfident man fears the challenge of the woman's expectation that he be
strong.
Healthy masculinity requires a self-confidence that permits the man to be free, uninhibited, and benevolently self-
assertive in the role of romantic initiator and aggressor. Healthy femininity requires a self-confidence that permits
the woman to be free, uninhibited, and benevolently self-assertive in the role of challenger and responder to the
man.
(The foregoing is intended only as a general indication of the masculine and feminine sex roles, not as an
exhaustive analysis; the latter is outside the scope of this discussion.)
Just as one's sexual personality is essential to one's sense of oneself, so it is essential to that which one wishes to
objectify and to see reflected or made visible in human relationships. The experience of full visibility and full self-
objectification entails being perceived, and perceiving oneself, not merely as a certain kind of human being, but as
a certain kind of man or woman.