We all have needs and we all have wants. Our true suffering begins when we turn our wants into
needs, and our one true need (God) into a commodity we think we can do without. Our true suffering
begins when we confuse the means and the End. God is the only End. Every other thing is the means.
We will suffer the moment we take our eyes off the End and get lost in the means.
In fact, the true purpose of the gift itself is to bring us to God. Even the gift is a means. For example,
does the Prophet not say that marriage is half of deen? Why? If used correctly, few other parts
of this life can have such a comprehensive effect on the development of one’s character. You can read
about qualities like patience, gratitude, mercy, humility, generosity, self-denial, and preferring another
to yourself. But, you won’t develop those qualities until you are put in a situation in which they are
tested.
Gifts like marriage will be a means to bring you closer to God—so long as they remain a means, not
an End. God’s gifts will remain a means to Him, so long as they are held in the hand, not the heart.
Remember that whatever lives in the heart controls you. It becomes what you strive for and are
willing to sacrifice anything to have. And to keep. It becomes what you depend on at a fundamental
level. It, therefore, must be something eternal, that never tires, and never breaks. It must, therefore, be
something that never leaves. Only one thing is like that: The Creator.