putting our entire trust, reliance, and hope in another person is unrealistic and just plain foolish. We
have to remember that humans are fallible and therefore, our ultimate trust, reliance, and hope should
only be put in Allah. Allah says: “...whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah has grasped the most
trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing of all things.” (Qur’an,
2:256) Knowing that Allah is the only hand-hold that never breaks will save us from much unneeded
disappointment.
Yet, this is not to say that we should not love or that we should love less. It is how we love that is
important. Nothing should be our ultimate object of love, except Allah. Nothing should come before
Allah in our hearts. And we should never come to a point where we love something, other than Allah,
in such a way, that it would be impossible to continue life without it. This type of ‘love’ is not love,
but actually worship and it causes nothing but pain.
But what happens when we’ve done all that and still we have been hurt or wronged by others—as
will also inevitably happen? How can we do what is the hardest? How can we learn to forgive? How
can we learn to mend our scars and continue being good to people, even when they are not good to
us?
In the story of Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu (may Allah be pleased with him), is a beautiful example of exactly that. After his daughter,Ayesha (r), was slandered in the worst way, Abu Bakr (r) found out
that the man who began the rumor was Mistah, a cousin who Abu Bakr had been supporting
financially. Naturally Abu Bakr withheld the charity he had been giving the slanderer. Soon after,
Allah revealed the following ayah: “Let not those among you who are endued with grace and
amplitude of means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen, those in want and those who
migrated in the path of Allah. Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should
forgive you? Indeed Allah is oft-Forgiving, most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 24:22) Upon hearing this ayah,
Abu Bakr resolved that he did want Allah’s forgiveness, and so he not only continued to give the man
money, he gave him more.
This type of forgiveness is at the very heart of being a believer. In describing these believers, Allah
says: “And who shun the more heinous sins and abominations; and who, whenever they are moved to
anger, readily forgive.” (Qur’an, 42:37)
The ability to readily forgive should be driven by an awareness of our own flaws and mistakes
towards others. But most of all, our humility should be driven by the fact that we wrong Allah every
single day of our lives, when we sin. Who are we compared to Allah? And yet, Allah, Master of the
universe, forgives by day and by night. Who are we to withhold forgiveness? If we hope to be
forgiven by Allah, how can we not forgive others? It is for this reason that the Prophet teaches
us: “Those who show no mercy to others will have no mercy shown to them by Allah.” [Muslim]
This hope for Allah’s mercy should motivate our own desire to forgive and to one day enter the only
world that really is perfect.