hewasdiagnosedwithposturalhypotension—acondition
ofoldageinwhichthebodylosesitsabilitytomaintain
adequate blood pressure for brain function during
changes in positionlike standing upfrom sitting.The
onlythingthedoctorscoulddowastotellShelleytobe
more careful with him.
At night, she discovered, Lou had night terrors. He
dreamtofwar.He’dneverbeeninhand-to-handcombat,
butinhisdreamsanenemywouldbeattackinghimwith
a sword, stabbing him or choppinghis arm off.They
werevividandterrifying.He’dthrashandshoutandhit
thewallnexttohim.Thefamilycouldhearhimacross
thehouse:“Nooo!”“Whatdoyoumean?”“Yousonofa
bitch!”
“We’dneverheardhimsayanything likethatbefore,”
Shelley said. He kept the family up many nights.
ThedemandsonShelleyonlymounted.Atninety,Louno
longerhad thebalance anddexterity requiredto bathe
himself. On the advice of a senior services program,
Shelley installed bathroom grab bars, a sitting-height
toilet,andashowerchair,but theyweren’tenough,so
shearrangedforahomehealthaidetohelpwithwashing
and other tasks. But Lou didn’t want showers in the
daytimewhenanaidecouldhelp.Hewantedbathsinthe
nighttime,whichrequiredShelley’shelp.Soeveryday,
this became her job, too.
Itwasthesamewithchanginghisclotheswhenhehad
wet himself. Hehad prostate issues,and, althoughthe
urologistgavehimmedicinesforit,hestillhadproblems
withdribblesandleaksandnotmakingittothebathroom