in time. Shelley tried to get him to wear protective
disposableunderwear, but he wouldn’t doit. “They’re
diapers,” he said.
Theburdenswerelargeandsmall.Hedidn’tlikethefood
shemadefortherestofherfamily.Henevercomplained.
Hejustwouldn’teat.Soshehadtostartmakingseparate
mealsforhim.Hewashardofhearingandwouldblast
the television in his room at brain-broiling volume.
They’dshut hisdoor, buthe didn’tlike that—thedog
couldn’tgetinandout.Shelleywasreadytothrottlehim.
Eventually,shefoundwirelessearbudscalled“TVears.”
Louhatedthem,butshemadehimusethem.“Theywere
alifesaver,”Shelleysaid.Iwasn’tsureifshemeantthat
it was her life that they saved or his.
Taking care of a debilitated, elderly person in our
medicalizederaisanoverwhelmingcombinationofthe
technologicaland thecustodial. Lou wason numerous
medications, which had to be tracked and sorted and
refilled.Hehadasmallplatoonofspecialistshehadto
visit—at times, nearly weekly—and they were forever
schedulinglaboratorytests,imagingstudies,andvisitsto
otherspecialists. Hehad an electronic alertsystem for
falls, which had to be tested monthly. Andthere was
almost no help for Shelley. The burdens for today’s
caregiverhaveactuallyincreasedfromwhattheywould
have been a century ago. Shelley had become a
round-the-clock concierge/chauffeur/schedule manager/
medication-and-technologytroubleshooter,inadditionto
cook/maid/attendant, not to mention income earner.
Last-minutecancellationsbyhealthaidesandchangesin
medicalappointmentsplayedhavocwithherperformance