help.Intheimaginaryplace,shewouldbeabletolock
herdoor,controlherheat,andhaveherownfurniture.No
onewouldmakehergetup,turnoffherfavoritesoaps,or
ruin her clothes. Nor could anyone throw out her
“collection”ofbackissuesandmagazinesandGoodwill
treasuresbecausetheywereasafetyhazard.Shecould
have privacywhenever she wanted,and no one could
make her get dressed, take her medicine, or go to
activitiesshedidnotlike.ShewouldbeJessieagain,a
person living in an apartment instead of a patient in a bed.
Wilsondidn’tknowwhattodowhenhermothertoldher
these things. Her mother’s desires seemed both
reasonable and—according to the rules of the places
she’d lived—impossible. Wilson felt badly for the
nursinghomestaff,whoworkedhardtakingcareofher
motherandwerejustdoingwhattheywereexpectedto
do,andshefeltguiltythatshecouldn’tdomoreherself.
Ingraduateschool,hermother’suncomfortablequestion
naggedather.Themoreshestudiedandprobed,themore
convinced she became that nursing homes would not
accept anything like what Jessie envisioned. The
institutionsweredesignedineverydetailforthecontrol
oftheirresidents.Thefactthatthisdesignwassupposed
tobefortheirhealthandsafety—fortheirbenefit—made
theplacesonlythatmuchmorebenightedandimpervious
tochange.Wilsondecidedtotryspellingoutonpaperan
alternativethatwouldletfrailelderlypeoplemaintainas
much control over their care as possible, instead of
having to let their care control them.
Thekeywordinhermindwashome.Homeistheone
placewhereyourownprioritiesholdsway.Athome,you