Being Mortal

(Martin Jones) #1

tohelpout.Itwasakindofgloriouschaos—or,inthe
diplomatic words of Greising, “a heightened
environment.”


Theyhadtosolvenumerousproblemsonthefly—howto
feedtheanimals,forinstance.Theydecidedtoestablish
daily“feedingrounds.”Judeobtainedanoldmedication
cart from a decommissioned psychiatric hospital and
turned it into what they called the bird-mobile. The
bird-mobilewasloadedupwithbirdseed,dogtreats,and
catfood, and a staffmember would pushitaround to
eachroomtochangethenewspaperlinersandfeedthe
animals. There was something beautifully subversive,
Thomassaid,aboutusingamedicationcartthathadonce
dispensed metric tons of Thorazine to hand out
Milk-Bones.


Allsortsofcrisesoccurred,anyoneofwhichcouldhave
endedtheexperiment.Onenightat3:00 a.m.,Thomas
gotaphonecallfromanurse.Thiswasnotunusual.He
wasthemedicaldirector.Butthenursedidn’twanttotalk
to him. She wanted to talk to Jude. He put her on.


“Thedogpoopedonthefloor,”thenursesaidtoJude.
“Areyoucomingtocleanitup?”Asfarasthenursewas
concerned,thistaskwasfarbelowherstation.Shedidn’t
go to nursing school to clean up dog crap.


Juderefused.“Complicationsensued,”Thomassaid.The
nextmorning,whenhe arrived,hefoundthatthenurse
hadplacedachairoverthepoop,sonoonewouldstepin
it, and left.


Someofthestafffeltthatprofessionalanimalwranglers
shouldbehired;managingtheanimalswasn’tajobfor

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